


Something On My Mind

by AnotherWriterWhoWrites



Series: 2019 365 Days of Writing [43]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Dead Dean Winchester, False Memories, Gen, Hurt Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-25 16:03:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18264701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWriterWhoWrites/pseuds/AnotherWriterWhoWrites
Summary: Sam knows there's something missing, Cas assures him there's nothing. But he can't shake the feeling that there should be someone else with him





	1. Chapter 1

Sam got out of the driver's seat of the Lincoln, grabbing the bags from the back. He paused and stared at the black impala that had been parked there for as long as he could remember before he continued inside. 

He found Cas in the main room, the angel glanced up at him and got up, taking some of the bags from him. “You were gone for a while Sam.”

Sam shrugged. “Spent a bit longer at the market.” he said vaguely. And it was the truth but he had gotten caught at the alcohol section, staring at the bottles long enough that some of the townspeople had come to him in concern. 

He didn't drink alcohol, he remembered having a beer sometimes with Bobby back when the hunter had been alive, but he himself didn't drink that much. He had no reason to buy alcohol for himself or anyone else around him. 

Cas glanced at him once more but didn't say anything, helping Sam bring everything to the kitchen stockroom and put everything in place. 

Sam slowly organized the cans, not really seeing what he was doing. There was this nagging feeling that he was forgetting something else. He mentally went through the shopping list once more, certain that he had gotten everything on it. 

“Sam, you alright?” Cas asked, snapping him out of the trance he was in. He blinked and realized that Cas had been touching his head as he brought his arm down.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Sam said automatically. “Just tired I guess.”

Cas didn't look convinced. “You sure? Maybe you're hungry?”

Sam thought for a moment and then shook his head. “Think I’m just going to go to my room.” he said. “Unless you found something for us to hunt?”

Cas didn't mention that Sam hadn't gone out hunting in a while, preferring to take phone calls and do research for the other hunters out there instead. “I already passed two hunts onto Jody and her group, you can rest Sam.”

Sam nodded his thanks at him and reached out to clap him on the shoulder as he passed, going towards his room. 

He walked slowly, passing a few other bedrooms. He passed one, room 11, and stared at it for a moment before he continued on towards his room. He didn't make a habit of going into other bedrooms, there were some rooms that hunters stayed in when they were here and he didn’t want to disrupt any of their belongings that might be there. 

Getting to his room he grabbed his laptop and sat down on the bed, opening up and staring at the screen for a moment, not sure of what he should do now. He was tired but he also knew that he wasn't going to go to sleep. He was working on an online archive for hunters to use on the go but for that he needed to go to the library and hook up to the scanner.

Sighing he let his head fall back against the wall before he went into his photo gallery, something he was doing a lot more lately. 

He didn't have that many pictures to look at. He thumbed through the usual ones of Bobby, the ones he had scanned of his parents, there were a couple pictures of Jody and her girls as well. He felt a strange tightening feeling in his chest at the sight of the ‘family’ and closed the gallery, lightly putting his laptop to the side now. 

There was an itch in his head, no other way to describe it. There was something missing, something important. The pictures were missing...something. 

When was the last time he went on a real hunt? Why had he stopped going? He had Cas as a partner so it wasn't because he would be going alone. 

What had been the last hunt he went on? When had it been?

He took his phone out of his pocket and started to look through it for hints or for something that he couldn't figure out. He always kept good notes so logically, he should find his last hunt in here as well. 

It took some digging but he finally found some notes from long ago and a phone call he had made to a mortuary. 

His last hunt...had dealt with males in their forties being killed. It was a witch doing it, harvesting their bodies for some ritual.

The last thing he found was a text sent to someone that was only labelled as “D” and Sam stared at it for a long moment. When he opened it he saw a hint of a photo of someone and-

“Sam?” Cas asked, his voice soft.

Sam blinked, staring down at his phone when he saw a blank screen. His last text had been from Claire asking about something she was hunting. 

Sam looked up at Cas. “Cas?”

“I sensed that you were distressed.” Cas told him. “So I came to check on you, are you alright?”

Sam glanced at his phone once more, trying to figure out what he was doing. Maybe he was answering Claire's text?

“Yeah.” Sam said. “I’m fine.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam slowly turned the page in his book, pressing it to the scanner, and scanned the page before repeating the motion. 

He was trying to get more of the books out there for hunters that couldn’t come to him and needed it quicker than he could research. 

Or in other words to leave him alone a bit more. 

There were more books than he could scan in here, he also couldn’t scan all of them due to them being a bit too precious and the bits of radiation coming from the scanner made him a bit afraid of the books falling apart. 

In all honesty he didn't answer the phones anymore either. Most of the people calling the bunker were other hunters that he wasn't so familiar with. Cas answered those and then told him what they were looking for. 

If anyone he really cared about needed to reach him they called his cell phone instead of the bunker. 

Sam sighed as he turned the page and pressed it down, feeling more and more tired. Maybe being cooped up in the bunker wasn't the best thing and he should get out a bit more. More than just going to town once every two weeks to stock up. 

Maybe it was the dust in the library, he didn't really see it but he was sure it was there, but at times he felt like he was being pressed down and couldn't breathe. He felt like he was being choked down in the bunker and needed to get out a bit more. 

Maybe he needed a hunt of his own, get out and stretch those muscles a bit more again, just to keep in shape. 

Sam gave a small smile and finished his scanning, he could upload it completely later tonight or tomorrow, there wasn't any rush in it. He felt a bit of a rush go through him as the idea solidified in his mind. 

Turning everything off and putting them back into their place Sam left the library and went to his room to grab his bag. He peeked into it to make sure that he still had everything he need in there and continued on. He paused for a moment wondering if he should tell Cas he was leaving and nodded, it would be rude not to.

Cas looked up at him from his own bed, setting his own laptop to the side. “Yes Sam?”

“I’m going out for a bit.” he said. “Not sure when I’ll be back but I’ll be gone for a few days.”

Cas looked a bit worried at that. “Where are you going?”

Sam shrugged, enjoying the sense of not knowing in a way he never thought he could. “Not sure, just kinda want to get out of here for a bit.”

Cas slowly nodded and got off of the bed. “I’ll come with you.”

“Cas, no, you don't have to.” Sam protested lightly. “Its okay, I’ll be fine. We need someone here.”

“Sam...” Cas said seemingly searching for the right words to say. “Are you sure?”

Sam nodded as well. “I’ll be fine.” he repeated. “It's okay, I’m just getting a bit cagey being down here for so long.”

Cas slowly breathed out, glancing at Sam's back for a moment. “Just...call me if you need help or anything.” he finally said. 

Sam nodded, feeling a bit like a child asking his parent for permission, he had to firmly push that thought away and felt his stomach churn a bit at that. “I will, its okay.”

Without waiting another moment Sam turned and went to the garage, he glanced at the black impala once more and ultimately decided not to, it was too showy of a car. He got back into the Lincoln once more and got onto the road, feeling a heavy weight lifting off of him with every mile he got away from the bunker. 

Swallowing hard for a moment Sam rubbed at his chest and took a deep breath, speeding down the road towards nowhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 87/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 86/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


End file.
